Playwrights' Playlist: The Music that Makes Robert Askins Almost Crazy

I don't write to music. 
My relationship to music is strange. 
A little obsessive.
 
I listen to songs over and over. 
Partially for effect. 
Partially cause they scratch an itch in my brain. 

Sometimes just cause they make me move. 
They get me high in that weird way that music does. 
There's an element of old magic left in music.
 
Like the way it's pre sense. 
Like whatever it does.
Is a key that picks a lock in the brain.

we can pretend to understand it
but we don't.
so like i can say to myself.

"be happy
you are enough
everything is going to be fine."

and i don't believe it
not most of the time
but
 
if i put on 
that lady gaga song
"just dance"

i want to move
and that's what's up
fuck the therapy talk

Sometimes i need to be angry
sometimes i need to believe in a god
sometimes i have to feel hope
 
as i'm walking down the street
sometimes i can't listen to music at all
sometimes i change the song

30 seconds in
and just 
cycle through shit

sound 
and image
that's our job

to explore the edges of this magic
find the places the drug won't work
contrast the sound image magic 

to the reality of family 
and poverty 
and civilization
 
the song is to sound
what the novel is to symbol
the play is a score
 
for bodies 
and voices
in hopes of constructing an experience

that illuminates
what it's 
like to be alive

the song is free from the burden of illumination
it just gets to make you go further into mood
it can just push your buttons

and push them 
and push them
until your like

almost crazy

that's why i listen to music 
so i can feel almost crazy
without missing my deadlines.
 
Here are some things that make me nuts